Ashley Monae

It’s time to say goodbye.

Goodbye to my once lover, but also my best friend. I never would have thought our love or friendship would come to an abrupt and brutal end.

But I release you. I release the thought of you.  I release the energy you consumed. I release any and every memory we have created. Because you have turned all good memories dark with every action made and every hateful and manipulated word you stated.

You have done nothing but made me question myself and my reality. You have shown me the REAL YOU, the lack of values that you have, along with your bad sense of morality.

You have broken me into a million pieces and left me to die. You have no idea what it took for me to climb out of that dark hole. You have no idea of how many tears I’ve cried.

But what have I really done to you? I have stood by yourside, helped you, prayed for you, put my body on the line TWICE to bring your legacy into this world. What did I do to you, to make you treat me like my turn for hurt was due?

When did you decide that was your cue?

And action!!!!! Is what you did. Took every step to make sure you beat me down then buried me, how could you hurt the woman who bared your kid?

I have dealt with my fairshare of hurt and pain. However, dealing with you has taken the cake, I have NEVER felt this sense of helplessness, sadness, anxiety, depression. Who knew you would have so much disdain?

God forbid and have mercy on your soul. The outcome of my pain dealt with prayer, tears and medication from pharma. The same hurt you chose to inflict, must have you aware of the moment you will receive your in due time- Karma.

I wanted the best outcome for our child. I have dealt with the most despicable bullshit just to make her life easier. But you made it harder, made life hell for me as if what you have done already wasn’t enough. Thats what’s wild.

Now the focus has not been consumed with coparenting with a narcissistic man. You know, once you put a name to the illness you have been feeling. The goal to healing is easier to plan.

I am starting to feel myself breathe again, I came up for air. The love that I was so desperate to keep inside with none to spare. I can now give out with no hesitation to share.

I release you because the forgiveness that God wanted me to give you, has been found. I just hope in the future we can learn to coparent effectively, our daughter doesn’t deserve the pain and frustration of being let down.

She deserves the earth…… And I’d do anything for the one whom I gave birth.

I release you.