What is this feeling?
I never knew I would feel anything again,
I isolated myself to focus on the trauma dealt before you,
I was HEALING!
You came along,
and I just knew you were another man who wanted me to hurt.
I just knew, you wanted to use and abuse me to get what you wanted,
then throw me away like a piece of trash buried in the dirt.
But time has gone by, and still you remain.
You’ve listened to every word I spoke and spoke life into me when I couldn’t speak it into myself.
Through it all, you stayed the same.
A piece of me wants to start this whole life thing with you. But another part of me is scared,
mortified, of the other foot dropping,
scared of what will happen if we do.
Or maybe I’m scared of what we really might morph into.
A blessing?
A lesson?
Lord knows my heart can’t take another state of depression.
What is this feeling?
Ashley Monae 