Nobody talks about
how women become soft out of fear.
Not weak.
Not desperate.
Not stupid.
Just emotionally attached enough
to start shrinking themselves
to keep love from leaving.
That’s the part they never teach us.
How a woman can walk into a conversation strong,
sure of herself,
ready to stand on what hurt her…
until the possibility of losing the person she loves
enters the room.
And suddenly her tone changes.
Suddenly she’s quieter.
More understanding.
More patient than she really wants to be.
Not because the pain disappeared,
but because abandonment feels louder
than disappointment in that moment.
So she folds herself smaller.
Swallows the tears.
Swallows the anger.
Swallows the words sitting in the back of her throat.
Because love mixed with fear
will make a woman betray herself silently.
And the crazy part is
people will call it submission.
Like it’s softness.
Like it’s femininity.
But sometimes it’s survival.
Sometimes it’s:
“Please don’t leave me while I’m already drowning.”
Sometimes it’s:
“I’ll carry the hurt if it means I still get to keep you.”
And women do it every day.
Stay calm when they want to scream.
Stay loving when they feel unseen.
Stay loyal while emotionally starving.
All because attachment
has a way of convincing women
that losing the relationship
would hurt more than losing themselves.
Until one day she wakes up
and realizes she disappeared slowly
trying to keep somebody else from walking away.
Ashley Monae 